Just Your Average Day
by InAMoment
Summary: My name is Rosila Daley. I'm 22 years old and the love of every man's life. You wish you were me.
1. Just Your Average Day

**This is just my interpretation of how almost every fanfic for NATM2 seems to be. It won't be very long or complex (obviously) and I want to make a real story for NATM2 when I get the chance.**

**Note this is not to be taken seriously and I would appreciate it if people didn't flame me for it. :) ****Anyway, on with the story! **

**Ye be warned...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Night At the Museum characters.**

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><p><strong>Just Your Average Day<strong>

It was a cool night in New York City. The moon and stars shone brightly in the clear midnight sky as light chilling breeze blew through the calm but empty streets as people locked up and sent home for the night. It was just another typical for night for everyone at The Museum of Natural History, both inside and out. That is until a sleek, black, and clearly out of place limousine rolled its way up to the historical building.

The driver stepped out to open the door for the passenger, while the other, Charles (back up driver and personal servant) quickly popped the trunk and hauled out a huge rolled up red carpet. He dragged it out onto the ground and up the steps of the museum, popping a few blood vessels as he did so, and let one end roll down the steps till it stopped just before the limousine.

The driver opened the passenger door with a bow, just as a strikingly high-heeled Louboutin swung gracefully from the car, followed by perfectly shaped and tanned legs, up to the skimpy mid-thigh black long sleeved velvet dress that showed major cleavage but was okay because she also had perfect breast, up to beautiful bleach blonde hair and a features any woman would kill for.

Who is she?

Her name is Rosie-van-eva-kangeline. But everyone just calls her Rosila for short. She's Larry's adopted daughter.

Rosila pulled out her solid gold purse, that was also encrusted with diamonds, and put her prescription glasses away, just to replace them with her Prada's. You see Rosila is the most beautiful woman in the world, but she wears glasses because she is also the smartest woman in the world.

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><p>"Dad, Rosila is here!" Nick jumped up from the front desk with a huge smile on his face.<p>

"I know, Nick. The entrance is right there, I can see through the _glass_ doors." Larry pointed to the entrance of the the museum.

Nick's smile melted into an 'O' shape as he stared in awe at where his dad was pointing. Larry opened his mouth to tell him it was five minutes until everything came to life, but Nick cut him off.

"Dad, look, she's here!" Nick shouted again.

Larry face-palmed at his son's stupidity, when suddenly the doors to the museum simultaneously blew open with a loud bang as a small feminine figure stepped through. Both Nick and Larry had to shield their eyes when blinding sunlight erupted from behind her (which was weird because it was night out) and illuminated her perfect 5'6 womanly figure. She reached up and pulled a single pin from her hair, lightly shaking her head back and forth as she did so, sending her hair cascading down and around her shoulders in perfect waves.

The light died down and she removed her Prada sunglasses from her face, revealing two beautifully blue-heavily makeuped-half lidded eyes. She popped her strawberry-watermelon gum once and opened her perfect full red lipsticked lips to speak.

"That's hot." Came her stereotypical blonde voice, which surprisingly sounded a lot like Paris Hilton's.

Larry blinked a couple of times and rubbed his eyes, still seeing spots from the light.

"Hey, dad-!"

"Yes, Nick, she's here, I know!" Larry shouted, exasperated.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 will be up very soon, but let me know what you guys think so far! Reviews are greatly appreciated. :) Also Rosila will not be THIS stupid throughout the whole story and I'll go into more detail about her later.<strong>


	2. Not Your Average Night

**I want to apologize for the delay on uploading chapter 2. Something was wrong with fanfiction's website and it wouldn't let me sign in. Thank goodness I already had half of the chapter written or it would have taken me even longer. :(**

**Oh yes! I also want to say that Iv'e read every fanfic for Al Capone and Kahmunrah (I think!) sometimes I go back to some of the posted stories and can't remember if I already read them or not. Pathetic I know, but there is only 2 pages for both those characters so...yeah haha**

**A VERY BIG thank you to FloatingPizza, for her honesty and time to leave me a review. If I it wasn't for her Id be the meanest person on Fanfiction!**

** If I had offended anyone with my previous authors note, I am truly sorry. I honestly meant no hard feelings. **

**Alrighty, on with the story, chapter 2! Enjoy, review! :) Did that rhyme?**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own the NATM2 characters.**

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><p><strong>Not Your Average Night<strong>

Ahkmenrah's tablet glowed and every waxy exhibit in the museum filled with life. Though some would have thought differently, had they not known otherwise .

"Nick?...Nicky, are you okay?" Rosila poked a frozen Nick on the forehead. He didn't respond. "Nic-"

"LAWRENCE! IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU LAD!" Theodore Roosevelt bellowed behind Rosila, causing her to scream in utter terror at the sudden outburst.

"Hey, Teddy." Larry greeted. "You're yelling again."

"Oh, uh.." He cleared his throat."My apologies." He turned his attention to Rosila. "And who is this lovely young lady?" He smiled and kissed her hand.

"This is Rosila, she's my daughter." Said Larry.

Rosila stared in horror at what was happening around her. "Who..wha..HUH?"

"Oh yeah! Sorry, Rosila, I forgot to tell you, all of the exhibits in the museum come to life at night!" Larry told her.

"What? Rosila asked, shocked. "How? That's not possible! How? HOW!" She fainted.

Larry and Teddy watched her fall to the floor. Teddy walked away.

"Ahkmenrah's tablet brings things to life." Larry replied anyway.

Rosila's eyes snapped open. "Oh...okay then!" She jumped up.

"By the way, who's...uh-"

"Ahkmenrah." Larry finished. "I'll introduce you two. Follow me." He started to lead them up the stairs when Rosila remembered Nick.

"Dad, wait. I forgot about Nicky!" She spotted him by the desk where he was earlier, still forzen.

"Oh don't worry about him." Larry assured. "He does this every night. NICK, IT'S SAFE TO UNFREEZE YOURSELF NOW!"

Rosila and Larry watched as Nick relaxed himself and sped away out of sight.

"What was he doing?" Rosila asked as they started down the hall towards Ahkmenrah's tomb.

"He does that when he's scared. And he gets scared every time the exhibits come to life. He feels he has to do the opposite of whatever they do or they'll see him and get him. It's a long story, don't ask." Larry said tiredly.

"Okay...but you kind of just told me-"

"Larry," Some indian lady interrupted." the miniatures are shooting at eachother again. I can't make them stop. Do you think that maybe you could..." She motion a plea with her hands.

Larry sighed and mumbled something that sounded like ''Jed''. "Yeah, sure, alright. I'll be right there just give me a sec."

He looked at her."Hey sorry, Rosila, but I have to take care of this."

"Oh no problem, dad." She smiled sweetly. "Go. I'll be fine all by myself."

"Thanks, Rosila." He hugged me and left with the indian lady trailing after him.

What Larry or anyone else for that matter failed to see was Rosila trip and smash her face into the wall next to Ahkmenrah's tomb, knocking her out cold.

Well, all except for one that is.

...

**Ahkmanrah's POV**

I could have sworn I heard a loud thud come from the outside of my tomb. I felt to tired and lazy to go check and see what that sound was, I mean for all I know it could have been that stupid girl that just walked into the wall! So I was just decided to climb back into my sarcophagus and remain aloof to the rest of the inhabitants of the museum for the night. But as I was climbing in, I saw something shine in the light by the entryway of my tomb. Naturally, as any human being would would assume, I thought someone planted an explosive by my precious tomb! Trying to kill me out of jealousy because of my unbearable sexy-ness no doubt! It was only a matter of time before this happend. So I did what any incredibly intelligent and highly good looking pharaoh would do...

I ran towards the bomb!

I was going to kick it into someone else so that they could do the greatly honored honor of sacrificing themselves for I! Need I say more?

But then that's when I saw it, just mere inches from my face. It was a woman's shoe! Why, that was no bomb at all! No, it was a woman's high-heeled shoe...a _Loubiton_ to be exact. There it was, sitting alone, footless in all it's glory, shining, sparking, in the great ceiling light from..._above._ As I moved closer to it I could have sworn it wink at me. I wanted it.

I picked it up and examined it from left to right, top to bottom, front to back, and all over again. It was beautiful..No!..It was..._precious..._

I suddenly became aware of the presence of the female laying before me atop the museum floor. I became utterly distraught, my decision was immediate.

She would not be allowed her shoe back!

**...**

**Rosila's POV**

Rosila woke with a groan. Her head throbbing and her eyesight blurry and spotted. She blinked a couple more times, seeing an image come into view..a very sexy manly image in an egyptian tomb that is. She put on her best 'come hither' and 'get away from me' look she could muster on such short and..painful...notice.

"Well hello there. You must be Ahk..." She struggled to remember the name her dad told her. "manbra! Ahkmanbra." She blinked flirtatiously at him.

He scowled. "I am AHKMANRAH! 5th king of the 5th king of the 5th king of Egypt...the 5th! And I do not waereth A BRASIERE!" He bellowed.

Everyone outside of the tomb stopped and stared.

Rosila was at lost for words...for three seconds. "Oh...well my name is Rosila Daley, I'm Larry's _adopted daughter._" She whispered at him. "But _sshhhh, _because you're not suppose to know." She giggled.

"What do you mean I'm not suppose to know?" Ahkmanrah looked confused. (His default emotion and facial expression.)

Rosila sighed. "Well you see, I'm not suppose to tell you the story behind it, but I will anyway because that's how I'm going to make you fall in love with me." Her voice suddenly turned deep and demonic. "Got it?"

"Yes." he squeaked, hoping she wouldn't notice and hurt his new Loubiton. _His precious..._

"Good!" Her voice turned back to normal. "Now," She cleared her throat." where do I begin..."

_It was a dark and stormy night in the rain forest jungle, hurricanes blew and ripped through trees and thunder rumbled in the raining sky. Pigeons, rabbits, and other exotic animals fled and shrieked in terror as lightning continuously struck at the the wildlife around them, leaving huge walls of fire in it's rampage and abnormally huge yellow and orange tractors plowed down the place they once had the luxury of calling home. It was complete and utter chaos! And in the midst of it all, of the fire, the rabid animals, the lightning, the tractors, the rain, thunder and hurricanes..._

_Was baby Rosila._

"Wait one minute, you were born in the jungle?" Ahkmanrah asked hopefully.

"No, you see, my parents were only 14 and 15 when they had me and they couldn't afford me, so they traveled from Vietnam to the rain forest and gave me to the monkeys."

Ahkmanrah nodded in understanding. "Where did they go from there? Did they live in the jungle too?"

"No. They moved to Hawaii straight after. And then they split up and my mom died of breast cancer, colon cancer, and lung cancer a month later and my dad lost his job and became a drunken bum making a living off of bar bets. _He had three feet._" She whispered again, smiling.

Ahkmanrah frowned. "I wish my parents gave _me_ to monkeys." He mumbled sadly.

Rosila scrached her armpit.

"Anyway, on with my story!"

"Wait!" Ahkmanrah shouted.

Rosila sighed angrily. "What now?"

"Skip to the part where Larry comes in!" He jumped up and down like a five year old.

"Fine! But only if you keep your mouth shut!"

"Ok!" He sat on the floor and crossed his legs.

_The large bamboo door of my vacation home in the Iraqi suburbs came smashing open when Larry, dressed in Hollywood's Tropic Thunder standard issue military gear, bounded through. He grabbed baby Rosila from the hissing baboons that were her new parents, and ran to the X-Jet where Charles (Rosila's personal servant) was waiting. All the while shooting at the terrorists with his double barreled M4 fully automatic._

"And that's how I got to be where I'm at today!" Rosila smiled broadly.

Ahkmanrah just lay sleeping on the floor and she pulled a blanket over him.

"Rosila," Larry poked his head into the tomb. "tell Ahkmanrah that he's got to be downstairs in 20."

"Ok...why?" She asked quietly as not to wake the sleeping hunk.

"Were moving a lot of the exhibits here to the Smithsonian Museum's storage archives and we need his help packing his friends that are going, into wooden boxes." Larry answered and then disappeared.

Rosila turned to wake Ahkmanrah, but to her surprise he was already gone. She looked up towards the entrance to see him running/waddling away as quickly as he could while wearing her shoe on his foot.

"Hey! That's my Loubiton! Give it back to me you...you...not sexy man!" She shouted and chased after him, running the same way because she was also wearing only one shoe.

"No! Nobody touches _my_ _p__recious!" _He hissed sounding just like smeagol.

Ahkmanrah ran down the hall away from his tomb, and in everyone's hast to get cleaned and packed up, nobody saw Rosila trip and smash her face into the wall just inside of Ahkmanrah's tomb, knocking her out cold.

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><p><strong>Next chapter, the Smithsonian! <strong>

**Oh and just for yous who don't know, Tropic Thunder is a movie starring Jack Black, Ben Stiller (Larry Daley) Robert Downy Jr., and Nick Nolte. The X-Jet was a reference to X-Men..duh. And The double barrel gun was a reference to The Green Hornet (yet another movie.)**

**Review please! :) **


	3. The Smithsonian

**Yay! The first chapter at the Smithsonian! ^_^ Review? **

** Disclaimer: My agent tells me I don't own NatM2. Can't wait to see the look on his face when I kidnap the actors and make them rehearse the whole thing in my backyard!**

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><p><strong>The Smithsonian<strong>

Larry's phone was ringing again.

He was right in the middle of making dinner for Nick, who just sat at the table attempting to relearn the spelling of his name, when his toaster suddenly caught fire.

"Crap!" Larry unplugged the toaster and scrambled for something to put the flames out with.

"Dad look, I drew a flower!" Nick held up his drawing.

Larry paid little attention to his son. "Uh, yeah, very good Nick. It's very nice." His phone rang again.

"Well the doctor did say I was borderline artistic!" Nick said with pride. "Now I think I'm fully artistic!"

"Nick, can you answer the phone for me please!" He dumped the burnt toast that was Nick's dinner into the trash.

"Okay!" Nick hit the speaker button by accident. "Hello?"

"Gigantor! It's Jed! We-!" Clashing metal and yelling went off in the background. "Dad?"

"Rosila?" Larry ran to the phone. "What's happening? Why are you with Jed? Were are you?"

"I'm in a big metal box!" Jed yelled something in the background."It smells bad in here! Dad, help us!"

"The Smithsonian?" Nick questioned to himself.

Larry didn't know if he was more shocked by what he was hearing on the phone, or at the fact that what his son said was correct.

"Dad, all of our friends came back to life again! You were right about the tablet!" Rosila shouted over the chaos.

"The tablet?" It dawned on Larry that the largest museum in the world was coming to life.. "How did you get the tablet!"

"I stole it from my boyfriend's tomb! Revenge for stealing my Loubiton, and then WEARING IT!" The yelling got louder. "Dad, hurry!" She hung up.

Larry had no time to decipher her words. he grabbed his car keys and bolted out the door, completely forgetting about Nick.

**...**

**Rosila's POV**

"Hach! Khach! Cats! Er, uh..I mean, HACH! Kahmunrah commanded his guards in egyptian and they roughly jerked Rosila from the rusted crate and snatched the tablet from her grasp, Rosila grabbed it back and then Kahumunrah grabbed _her_.

He drug her away from the crate, still filled with her shouting friends, and to a slightly smaller area with a bunch of men who were just standing around with bored expressions. She immediately took notice of the monochromatic Italian gangster surrounded by other monochromatic Italian gangsters. Rosila's eyes widened at the sight. He was beautiful in a monochromatic, Italian gangster kind of way. Oh yeah, and he was also wielding a Tommie gun whose barrel was currently pointed at her.

They made eye contact and Rosila understood the connection between them instantly. He had fallen in love with her.

"What ith your name?" Kahmunrah demanded, gripping her arms tightly.

Rosila gulped. "Rosie-van-eva-kangeline. But everyone just calls me Rosila for short. I'm Larry's adopted daughted, but _shhhh,_" She held her fingers to her lips. "because you're not suppose to know that."

Kahmunrah looked stunned. "Rothie-van-eva-kangeline?...ath in printheth/lowly maid thervant Rothie-van-eva-kangeline whom my brother and I were madly in love with from my homeland back in egypt three thouthand yearth ago when I exithted becauthe I actually did exitht even though nobody hath heard of me becauthe my parenth didn't love me and never bothered to mention my name to hithtorianth?"

Rosila blinked. "...Yes! How did you know it was me?" She looked over her shoulder and gave the gangster a 'This-guy-has-lost-his-marbles' look and then bugged her eyes and motioned a 'CUH-RAAAAZY' with her finger and then shrugged her shoulders and shook her head and then rolled her eyes and scoffed.

Kahmunrah didn't notice.

"I jutht new!" He giggled like a giddy school girl. Rosila smiled and his face suddenly grew serious again. "And you my dear, are going to mine, FOREVER!" Spittle flew in her face and she visibly cringed.

"Mithta Capone, would you be tho kind as to pleath take my darling new thoon to be wife here and go geth thum thew theeb uth?"

The INFAMOUS, the most FEARED, and THEE most FAMOUS gangster in WORLD HISTORY: AL..uh..phonse(?)..er..something..CAPONE, gave Kahmunrah a blank stare before turning to break the forth wall, glaring at the author. **"My name is Alphonse Gabriel Capone, you worthless slab of meat! Yea that's right, I see ya stuffen' your fat face, _Porky_!" He raised his treasured Tommie. "Don't skrew this up." **

***swallows loudly and nods head.***

Al looked back at Kahmurah. "What? I didn't catch that?"

"Theth ubth eethun cuvthuputh!"

Al shot more metaphorical blankness but in Kahmunrah's direction. **(****I have to say 'shot' because he's a badass gangster who still has a reputation to uphold, and if I make him look bad he'll probably shoot me...and for the record, I wasn't eating THAT much pork...)** "What did ya say to me, dress boy_?_" Al got defensive."Ya callin' me _stupid__?_"

Kahmunrah opened his mouth to lisp again but Rosila cut him off. "He said that he wants you to take me to the room with all of the different costumes and force me to wear a really skimpy but not to skimpy dress..a..um, what was that last part?" Rosila asked Kahmunrah.

"CUVTHUPUTH!"

"Ah, yes, that's right." Rosila nodded. "Against my will!"

Al nodded his head. "Ah...so..a dress like your's then, right?"

"THHHHHHHHH! Kahmunrah hissed like a lisping snake at Al's insult and roughly shoved Rosila in his direction after ripping the tablet from her hands.

Al waggled his finger at Kahmunrah and tsked in a disapproving manner for shoving Rosila...then he twitched angrily and broke the forth wall for a second time. **"That's it, I warned ya! He aimed his gun. **

**"Wait, wait wait!" *Puts hands up in surrender.* "I'll change it!" **

**Al lowered his gun. "Last chance or it's your funeral, Pork-chop! I mean it!"**

***Nervously wipes sweat from hands and begins typing.***

**"And don't make me act like a woman either!"**

_REWRITE_: Al's inhumanly, scarily, evil glare burned a flaming metaphorical hole into Kahmunrah as he popped a verbal cap in his ass with his horribly awesome tough guy 1930's Italian gangster attitude-ish lingo. "I dunno 'bout yous, but I ain't shovin' no broads around like it's a sport!"

Al grabbed her by the arm and they headed off to find her some new attire, his men jumped and followed at their heels like a litter of lost puppies.

**oOo**

"So what is your name again?" Rosila blinked up at Al with wide eyes.

Al stared down at Rosila with narrowed eyes. "Alphonse Capone. But you can call me Al...phonse."

"Oh, Alvin, you're such a silly pants!" Rosila giggled much like Kahmanrah had and swatted a hand playfully on his chest..and didn't remove it. Al glared at Rosila with hatred, but she could still make out the speckles of undying love in his eyes.

"Hey, boss?"

"Yea?" Al turned his attention to what's-his-face.

What's-his-face pointed towards a blue door marked: _Costume Room. _"I think this is the room dress boy told us to look for."

Al suddenly backhanded him across the face. "You think I don't know that you stupid ox!" His thick Brooklyn accent laced his every word. All of his men cringed in fear. He tightened his grip on Rosila's arm and, naturally, she took that as his desire for her so she instantly pressed up against him and wrapped her leg around his waist and tossed her head, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Rosila licked her lips sexily and then ran her hands down his chest.

Al didn't notice.

"Now SIT!" He shouted and all of his men immediately plopped their butts down onto the cold hard marble floor of the museum. Al shoved Rosila through the door and started to walk through but paused and turned to his men.

He snapped his fingers. "STAY."

Rosila could have sworn she heard one of them whimper before the door closed behind them with a click.

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><p><strong>I hope this chapter was good came out alright. Personally I ain't to happy with it. Napoleon and Ivan will come in later, as will the others.<strong>

**And next chapter will have more Al and Rosila ,*wink wink* ;) Haha.**

**Special thank you to pinkxjellybean for the review, I'm super happy that you like my story! :)**


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